Living In Mania

This article is a description of what it is like to live in a manic episode by a woman who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Can you start off by telling us a little about the symptoms you experienced during the manic episode you had?

Well, I should have known something was wrong when I stopped sleeping at night. I usually require quite a bit of sleep. During the manic episode, I would get three or four hours of sleep and feel completely rested. I would stay up during the night writing “the next great American novel.” My behavior became impulsive. I am normally quite shy, but during the manic episode, I was talkative and flirtatious. I was married, but I would flirt with men all the time, and these were not men that I would normally have been attracted to even if I had been single. These were ex-convicts and drug addicts.

My marriage was falling apart and I was stressed about my finances. But, I went shopping and bought myself some new clothes; clothes that I never did wear. I also decided to start my own business. I had absolutely no money. My husband had locked me out of the house, so I was staying at my mother’s house. And with no place to live, I was focused on starting my own business. It’s definitely not the logical approach that I would normally take. I was homeless, but I envisioned myself as being on the road to wealth.

Have you ever experienced any psychotic symptoms?

I had some psychotic episodes. I thought that I was immortal. I thought that I could control other people’s actions by using mental telepathy. When I would emerge from a psychotic episode, I would be distressed. I couldn’t believe that my thinking was so distorted. It’s a horrible feeling not to be able to trust your own mind. I had been put on Haldol, an anti-psychotic medication. The psychiatrist had to start giving me the Haldol by injection instead of the pills, because of my distorted thinking. I thought that taking the Haldol pills was interfering with my telepathic powers. Getting a monthly injection instead of daily pills was much easier. I couldn’t trust myself to take the pills everyday.

What treatment did you use to stop the mania?

I was hospitalized. Eventually, with the help of mood stabilizer, Haldol, other medications, and therapy, the mania disappeared as mysteriously as it came. That’s one disturbing component of bipolar disorder. You never know what episode, if any, is going to turn your life upside-down at any time. That’s why you need to be on the medications all the time, not just during the episodes. It’s much easier to prevent an episode than it is to pick up the pieces of your life after an episode.

Next article: Hypomania And Its Characteristics