Inside A Chaotic Mind - Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

What’s it like to live with the chaos of bipolar disorder? For the person suffering from the disorder, it is like riding a merciless roller coaster. For friends and family, their relationship with the person who suffers from the disorder is strained and clouded with uncertainty.

Someone with bipolar disorder may wake up to face a day with crippling suicidal thoughts during a depressive episode or a day filled with the passions of a manic episode. The third possibility is to have a relatively normal day between episodes. This is the world of someone who suffers from the disorder. They never know when the disease will rear its ugly head.

The manic and depressive episodes usually occur independently of positive or negative incidences in the person’s life. For example, someone with bipolar disorder does not have a depressive episode because something bad happened to him or her. If anything affects whether an episode will occur, it is the general life stress that the individual is under. Times of stress at work or at home can upset the balance that the person is trying to maintain.

When enveloped in an episode, the person with bipolar disorder will have less control of their behavior and of their lives than they would normally have. This is not to say that someone with bipolar disorder is a helpless victim. It is only to say that even accomplishing daily tasks that would normally be easy become exceptionally difficult during a manic depressive episode.

Living in a manic episode is a blur of activity and excitement. The mania may bring feelings of self-importance and superiority, self-confidence, and poor judgment. People in a manic episode may find themselves doing things that they would not normally do. They may have a sudden drive to start a business, which can definitely be a good thing. However, if done during a manic episode, they may quit their job and jump into starting a business without any planning. Someone in a manic episode may engage in risky sexual behavior that would not be usual for him or her. They may spend or gamble money they can’t afford to be without.

What’s it like to be in an episode of depression? The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness choke your spirit. You have no desire to enjoy life, achieve anything, or to be with other people. You may go a day or two without eating, because eating seems unimportant and irrelevant. Fighting suicidal thoughts is an ongoing, exhausting battle, even if you aren’t planning a suicide attempt and you’ve already decided that you will not commit suicide. The thoughts still plague your mind and fighting them is tiresome and frustrating. You may experience physical pain, such as sore shoulders, neck, or back. The physical pain some people experience could be described as similar to the body aches that can come with the flu.

As you can see, living in either of these states of mind can be traumatic and chaotic. Imagine spending your life flip-flopping between these two extremes. Much of the time that you have between episodes would be a scramble to try to reclaim your life and achieve some sense of normalcy.

Next article: Do I Have Manic Depression?