Loving Someone With Manic Depressive Illness

Loving someone with manic depressive illness can be stressful and painful at times. You may expend a lot of energy caring for the person during a depressive episode. You may also feel a sense of insecurity when your loved one experiences the instability of a manic episode. You want to be supportive of your loved one, but you also have your own needs and goals.

The first step is to read about bipolar disorder. Go to the bookstore or the library. Get information from reputable web sites. Find out about the symptoms and treatments. Bipolar disorder is a medical condition. Becoming knowledgeable about the disorder not only helps you understand the disorder, but by doing so, it may also improve your relationship with your affected loved one.

Pay attention to what your loved one has to say. Don't assume that you know what he or she is going through. Don't treat your loved one's feelings as if they are all signs of an illness. Your loved one may be questioning the validity of their own emotions. It is important for you and your loved one to understand that not all positive emotions are signs of a manic episode and not all bad days lead to a depressive episode. And, just because someone has bipolar disorder doesn't mean his or her point of view isn't valid.

During manic and depressive episodes, everyday things can be overwhelming to people with bipolar disorder. Encourage your loved one. Struggling with bipolar disorder can be exhausting. Acknowledge the effort that your loved one exerts just to do the simplest tasks while suffering from a depressive episode. Do what you can to reduce stress and demands on the person. Offering a ride to a doctor's appointment, or help with laundry or child care, can mean a lot.

In many cases, you may notice emotional changes in your loved one before he or she does. Think about keeping records. Catching changes in mood early and getting treatment for them can make a big difference. Some significant others of those with bipolar disorder keep a record of medications and changes in mood on a calendar. Some psychiatrists suggest tracking sleep patterns as well. However, you walk a fine line. If you're too intrusive, your loved one might feel like you're spying. Don’t be afraid to ask your loved one if they are thinking about hurting themselves.

Encourage your loved one to stick with treatment. It's key that your loved one stay on his or her bipolar medication and get regular checkups. People with bipolar disorder often neglect treatment once they feel better. You may need to emphasize that bipolar disorder is a medical condition that will just go away. Someone with diabetes would not stop taking insulin because they are not in a coma. They continue treatment in order to prevent a crisis. The same is true for bipolar disorder.

Your loved one may also need encouragement to eat well, get enough sleep, and stay away from alcohol and drugs. Following a daily routine can help prevent manic and depressive episodes. Acknowledge the courage your loved one demonstrates while living and coping with a mental illness.

Do things together. People who are depressedhave a tendency to isolate themselves. Encourage your friend or loved one to get out and do things he or she enjoys. Ask him or her to join you for a walk, a movie, or a dinner out. If he or she resists, don't force the issue. Instead, just gently ask again a few days later.

Because bipolar disorder is an unpredictable illness, you should plan for bad times. Be explicit. Agree on what to do if symptoms get worse. Have a plan for emergencies. If you both know what to do and what to expect of each other, you'll feel more confident about the future.

Since your loved one's behavior can have a huge effect on you, you have the right to talk about it. However, don't blame the other person. Don't list all of his or her mistakes. Don’t blame your loved one for having the disorder. Instead, focus on how your loved one's actions make you feel and how they affect you. Since this can be a very difficult subject, you might find it easiest to discuss it together with a therapist.

Take care of yourself. It's easy to lose sight of your own needs when you're taking care of someone else. But, you have to stay healthy emotionally and physically. If you push yourself too far, you'll just burn out, and that's no good for anyone. Take time off regularly. The needs of the person with bipolar disorder do not only have to come first. Ask other friends or family members to help out so you can get away. Do things that you enjoy and that relax you.

Everyone who rides the waves of bipolar disorder needs emotional support. Consider seeing a therapist on your own. Support groups are available for people who are friends and family of those diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Joining a support group for loved ones of people with bipolar disorder can be a valuable resource for you. If there are no such support groups available in your community, there are some chat rooms and message boards dedicated to those who have loved ones with bipolar disorder available online.

Supporting your loved one can be key to his or her recovery. But you have to remember that you can't single-handedly make your loved one better. You can't take care of him or her every second of the day. So get other people involved. Ask for the help of other family members or friends. Don't bear the burden on your own. If you feel a lot of resentment towards your loved one with bipolar disorder, you are probably giving too much and neglecting your own needs.

Next article: Living With Manic Depressive Disorder